brevity is not always the soul of wit

strucking fessed

2008-01-14T23:09:00.000+08:00

Life has been an utter piece of crap these few days. Have been emo, angsty, sad, happy and so on and the whirlwind of emotions has really been exhausting. KI is somewhat settled, with minor tweaks here and there left to do but TSD...has been hellish. Had the first consultation today and got ripped apart. Gotta admit that it was deserved though. Sometimes I wish I had the courage to do a DS instead of taking the safer route of costume/makeup. But then again the grass is always greener on the other side.

However, no matter how much of a bitch I/S and Crit Comm is, the practicals these days have been amazing. Pretty exhausted from all the crying and screaming when things got too intense though but it was honestly cathartic, and considering my family situation now, it couldn't have come at a more perfect time. The anger that was pent up in me made me scream in a really high pitch (the last time I remember reaching that note was when a lizard ran over my hand years ago cause I normally can't scream) and I'm glad for it, though it made my throat unbelievably raw. Somehow, I think working physically, getting the emotions through the body (in other words, the outside-in approach) works for me. I get into that crouched position, hug my knees, think about well, stuff, and tears will come. Hmmm. Could be the practice for Night, Mother that helped as well. Anyways, seriously, I do love 07A06 and I hope we can continue losing all our silly inhibitions around each other to bond as a performing ensemble.

Sidenote: Across the Universe was amazing. I don't care about the reviews.

IRONY. Last year, in PAE, I deliberated and agonized over the decision to quit the choir. Then I joined back 5 days later. This year, while the J1s are having their PAE, I find myself now in the exact same position. But things are also different. The naivety, the inane joy, the freedom I didn't realise I had when I was J1--those are gone now. Extinguished. Poof. Now, it is the plain, hard and cold facts that I see before me. Everything clashing. May, June and July. It's sad but strategic choices have to be made even if it breaks my heart. When we live in a ruthlessly efficient society like this, logic has to outweigh passion. I was afraid the people I told would get together and lynch me. Thankfully they seemed* quite understanding. Two last hurdles to pass and the shit will hit the fan by Friday.

i love the music. i love the singing. i love the choir. but sacrifices have to be made i suppose? utilitarianism. the greater good. for my group. for myself. don't we just love it? *snorts*

promos

2007-10-13T12:39:00.000+08:00

The promos are over.

It almost feels strange typing it..I'm finding that the proverbial calm before the storm is right now surprisingly. One would expect it to be the period before the exams. But I find its the period before the results. Hmm. Maybe it's both.

Bah. I need to figure out what I'm going to do with my addiction to the internet. Seriously.

Anyway, just a rundown of what happened:

KI- Meh. Screwed my paper 1 by not reading the questions properly and choosing the wrong one. Also didn't write the essay properly. Just dumped all the arguments for the existence of God with no proper topic sentences. A02 mark? FAIL, I TELL YOU. Took a risk with the way I answered paper 2. Luckily those who picked Pascal's Wager apart did alright, apparently.

TSD- Saw the paper and thought WTF. Wasn't the only one. Opened my mouth after the paper and all that came out was the sort of hysterical laughter you'd find after a mental breakdown. We were given THE MOE specimen paper. Which means there weren't any flaws in the paper and that the paper was set by people who have had YEARS of knowing how to torture students. Hopefully, practical will pull up the marks.

Econs- Surprisingly okay. Just praying for a pass so I don't have to drop KI.

Lit 1- Erm. So-so. Poem was nice but I didn't concentrate on the technics as much as I should have. Lack of rhyme scheme etc completely neglected. Grex...spent 10 minutes just deciding which essay to do.

Maths- WHAT A JOKE. I didn't study for it and didn't attend the lectures. Went there and only answered 2/3 of the paper cause I couldn't remember my formulas.

Lit 4- Another joke. Handmaid's Tale: relationship between the oppressor and the oppressed. Didn't know how to approach the question properly. Quite possibly the worse Lit essay I've written all year long.
------------------
Gah. I wanted to watch Lust, Caution yesterday with some classmates. But had to finish up the super overdue KI essay on religion by NOON. Couldn't finish it in time and ended up sending this 860 word piece of nonsense. Oh wells. At least it's over and done with.

Quite a few choir events coming up soon. Should be fun.

Please, please, please. Just let me promote, take KI next year and slog over KI I/S along with TSD I/S like a lunatic.

Speaking of TSD I/S...still pondering over what I'd be suitable for. Makeup? Yes, definitely. But it's bundled along with COSTUME. Considering that I can't draw or sew...maybe NOT. Acting? Meh. I doubt I can anyway. Not like I'm one of those who are passionate about it as well. Puppets? Maybe. Lights and Sound? Doubt it. I'll think about the rest after I am sure I'll get promoted.

past, present, future

2007-06-20T22:39:00.000+08:00

Put the past behind. Just focus on the present and future. I keep trying to tell myself that.

But how do I put the past behind when someone whom I respect accuses me of badmouthing her leadership and competence? The absolute confusion, coupled with a whole bunch of other factors, threw me off the loop and I actually cried on the phone for the first time. Pathetic, I know.

It's fucking scary honestly. Being in a choir. Being exposed to the verbal stilettos. There's a distinct sense of irony or a twisted sense of poetic justice in the fact that while we use our voices to create such beautiful music, simultaneously we use our voices to create so much emotional damage to other people. Being completely new to a choir and being completely unaware on how to play the politics within (well, frankly, I've never been good at politics. Class or otherwise) leaves me feeling terribly vulnerable. My position sticks me in the center of the maelstrom and I didn't have the bloody common sense to realize it until now. It leaves me feeling uncertain, not about my passion, but about my ability to survive in such treacherous waters.

There's a weight settling ominously in my belly. It tells me that the the next year and a half is either going to be the best of times or the worst of times. There won't be a middle ground. No, not this time.

Conflicted

2007-03-14T16:33:00.000+08:00

This is way overdue. But being an OGL is no joke...I have no idea whether I want to be an OGL for next year's Orientation because the role is one that is chocked full of frustration and wrath. In the middle of the 2nd day I was walking around with a black thunderstorm on my face and giving everyone that "don't fuck with me right now or I swear to god I will crack your skull and suck your brain juice out" look. Some of the OGMs just could not be bothered and were completely wet blankets. Some were complete jackasses. One (not technically my OGM..just a VS moron/crasher) flipped me the bird for no reason. But some were pleasant enough and during the wet games on day 3 we had a lot of fun...albeit the pathetic attendance.

We Blackbeard OGLs danced to "Sexyback" and "Shy Guy" for our OGL performance and allied with the Barbossa and DJ OGLs to slam the Hookers..that, including the finale where everyone who was spontaneous and open-minded started moshing and conga-ing, was obscenely wicked~
Best part was when BLACKBEARD WON THE BEST FAMILY AWARD~ Uh-huh, yeah we the best.

I'm also damn happy about the fact that 2 of my classmates who had left for other JCs have successfully appealed back in! A03(or whatever our class is gonna be named) won't be drastically changed! Yay!

But all's not rainbows and sunshine and butterflies. I've been feeling damn conflicted about whether to stay in Choir or not. I'll start with the cons: 1) It is frigging time consuming. Think 3 times a week(or more) at 3-4 hours a session. 2)Taking KI and TSD together is already extremely demanding. If I throw Choir in with the mix, it'd be like courting death and it'd be kinder to jump off a building right now. 3) Everytime I stand next to the other Sops, I feel inferior and out of my league. 4) I think there are some people who dislike me already.

Okay pros: 1) Anyone who knows me well enough knows that I love singing. 2) Choir can actually be fun. 3) It strengthens my voice.

HELP. I repeat: HELP. I have no idea what to do.

Farewell

2007-03-06T23:12:00.000+08:00

Today was an emo day. I cried(shed tears) twice. Once just after assembly and later in TM outside Long John's. Transience is a bitch at times. People come into our lives and actually make a difference. Yet they flit out of our lives again in the blink of an eye. I'm going to miss all those leaving so badly.

I can't believe that TPJC isn't accepting 14 points after bonus. It was just a humongous shock--my poor 'lau po' was posted to Ngee Ann Poly instead.

Watched Dreamgirls (again) and ate Long John's as mentioned before for the first time. It wasn't too unpleasant or pleasant. But the fries were good.

To those who are leaving: I'll treasure all the whacky and precious memories we have created together and I'll always think of you guys with fondness. Some things are just not meant to be, y'know? The threads of fate are constantly tangled, snapped, snipped and overlapped. We'll meet again. Till then, all I can bring myself to say is 'Thank you'.

I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you:

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend:
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you:
Because I knew you:
I have been changed for good--Wicked

Indeed, because I knew you, I have been changed for good.

Church

2007-02-25T23:00:00.000+08:00

Haven't updated in a while. Loads have happened- Valentine's Day, Chinese New Year et cetera. But I went for my first prayer meeting [Conan invited me to City Harvest] today and it was an eye opener. It was like a concert actually, what with the lights, the massive crowd [it filled a whole singapore expo hall] the effects and the stage...but I won't deny that it was very uplifting even though I found myself feeling a little bewildered at times. To be honest, I really envy the people that I saw today for being able to be so utterly consumed by a religion. To place such faith, to hold such love....it's nice y'know? But knowing myself, it'd be quite unlikely for that to ever happen to me. I'm not quite sure if I will go back for another session in the future but that possibility does exist.

After that, went to Cineleisure for some karaoke with Cai Xiang, Mel, Conan, Wai Wan and Wyntrice. Meh, it was aight. Not too satisfying because my voice wasn't in very good shape and I had to leave like 1 and a half hours earlier [when i later realised that it was utterly unneccessary]. But still, for that 3 hours that I was there, shouting screaming singing with my class/sch mates, it was fun.

Headed down to Cass's house to a) collect my book b) attend some CNY gathering thingamajiggy. Family was supposed to come but surprise surprise, it didn't happen. Anyway, good food and good company [yes cass, you] so I don't really have much to complain about.

Wicked!

2007-02-10T21:41:00.000+08:00

I'm not sad really. Disappointment is a rather different emotion. But thanks to all you guys who have been encouraging. Love you all.

Slacked around the whole day, mostly stayed in my bed watching videos. AHHHHH. I love Wicked so much! The songs, the lyrics, the STORY. It's so amazing how the details from the Wizard of Oz were manipulated into creating a story that can be so mesmerizing. I NEED TO GO TO BROADWAY OR L.A OR SOMETHING.

Maybe I'll just pray real hard that they make a world wide tour and that they come to Singapore.

Bwahahaha. Pigs will fly! Cows will jump over the bleeding moon! Oh well, no harm in dreaming.

Numbness

2007-02-09T22:49:00.000+08:00

Well, needless to say, the results were today.

I was numb before I got the results and people to my left, back and front were crying.

I was numb when I walked up to the table.

I was shocked when I saw the string of "THREE"s, but that faded quickly.

I was numb when I calculated it.

No tears fell. I didn't feel the urge to cry. Everywhere around me, people were screaming, sobbing, hugging, shouting...I was numb.

Though I still feel numb, the feeling of disappointment has set in. Because I have exactly what I told myself in the beginning of 2006 I wouldn't have: regrets.

I reaped what I sowed. 13 is by no means a terrible score, I acknowledge that. But I won't deny that I expected something lower than that.

So anyways, congrats to all my friends (and family) who have done well. I'm so very very proud of you guys.

Airports!

2007-02-02T21:52:00.000+08:00

Really really loving my class. Have never bonded with a group of people in such a short period of time before. We're so incredibly lame. It's actually pretty amazing...the extent of our lameness.

We seem to go out so often, to TM, to PS, to Century Square, to TM, to TM and to TM...even went to Changi Airport yesterday to eat Popeye's for the first time! I was damn shagged so I conked out on one of the benches for about half an hour. Also had TSD practical yesterday. Improv improv and more improv. Which was fun fun fun! But the Black Box Blacked out again. Maybe the lights there just have something against our class because last week in Miss Norzian's class, nothing happened.

KI today was decidedly interesting because of one of the presentations on Sigmund Freud. Basically he says that everything we (humans) do is subconsciously driven by the need of power or the need or sex and when it comes down to the wire, I think it's true. It's a very sad and ugly fact, but when you actually go and dissect a simple action....yeah. After KI ended early, a bunch of us had a long talk with Mr Tan (who is super nice) about MJ, TJ, the new principal, VJ etc etc. By the time we had yakked enough and I headed down for Choir practice, I only got to sing once. Lol. Then had a choir briefing with Mr Tan and after THAT ended, I asked him what the briefing was driven by : power or sex?

He couldn't come up with an answer. I mean it's not sex, but in what way does the seeking of power present itself in such a situation? I have a feeling it has something to do with self-elevation because by preparing the J1s mentally, it strengthens us and the choir and that'd make him feel good right? Haha, I am starting to spout nonsense.

Choir+TSD

2007-01-18T23:27:00.000+08:00

Had our first choir practice yesterday. Felt hopelessly pathetic when I got lost by all the jargon and when I couldn't hold some notes long enough. Being informed of my inadequacies [albeit in a nice way by Siti/conductor to the general sops] was a bit of an ego-smasher. Something about resonance, something about round notes, something about soft palates and something...You get the idea. Boy, were my illusions about choir shattered or what. It is not easy. Not easy at all. But I still felt really powerful when the whole choir sung together. When our voices soared together as one in that room for the first time, it was so heart achingly beautiful to the uninitiated me [in gaming terms: choir n00b]. Gotta learn so much. The lyrics, the exact melody, the pitching, the timing, the proper way to breathe. Oh well, I will try.

Also had our first TSD practical today. God it was so much chaotic fun. We got the British teacher, Ms Pink [so cute her surname] who's really great and our classroom was the blackbox. Did some freeze frames [soccer and ice cream]. I was the retarded one in both. In the soccer frame, I was the lousy player pretending to be injured by lying on my back and clutching my knee whilst in the ice cream frame, I was the lame ass whose ice cream fell off the cone and onto the floor. Lol, I came up with the ideas so I'm not complaining. Then we were given this extract from a play to read. Freaky play--like Mean Girls with knifes. Anyway, the black box blacked out and there was absolute darkness that was both unnerving as well as enjoyable at the same time. Most of us forgot about the light from phones and so Ms Pink had to find the door [with great difficulty] in the darkness and when she came back and saw the phones she went "I'll remember this" in a very very cute way. The lights came on, we continued reading and then it went out again. So 'boh pian', we went to the library to do the reading. What was interesting is that the 3 guys [or 'lads' as Ms Pink put it] in my TSD class took the first 3 female characters [not that there were any males, but still they volunteered first] and then I took Ritz. T'was interesting...One of the guys later told me I sounded creepy *giggles* and that guy actually did this awesome "live or die" thing which freaked the rest of us out earlier.

After that, went to TM with most of the class for dinner and whatnot. First time going to TM since I set foot in TPJC. Bah the noodles I ordered sucked. Then we went on to fool around in Yamaha and Toys R Us. Gosh, I'm really starting to like my CG, my classes and TPJC in general. Damn. This is not good. It's going to kill me when/if I leave. It's funny how quickly bonds can formed and how quickly one feels attached to a place. Anyway, KI and choir practice tomorrow again [technically today cause its 12.20AM], looking forward to it *coughUNICORNcough* The SYF song is this Latin piece I truly like..Now if only my throat would stop feeling like a thorn bush.

Poly?!

2007-01-16T23:10:00.000+08:00

This shit is freaking bananas I tell you. My parents are the anti-stereotype of every single Singaporean parent, I swear. They're actually encouraging [psycho-ing] me to go to a polytechnic instead of JC because A levels are supposedly 'obsolete'. WHAT KIND OF PARENTS ACTIVELY DISCOURAGES JC IN FAVOUR OF POLY?! It's not that I think that the poly route is in any way inferior to the JC route. It's more of the fact that I don't really know what I want to be for the rest of my life. I don't want to wind up taking a course I regret and wreck the next 3 years of my life. They [He, mostly] want me to go into journalism or something similar to that. But problem is, I'm not exactly super ultra keen on becoming a journalist or anything. I WANT TO GO TO A FRIGGING JC. But if I do, there's going to be a lot of drama. AGAIN. Damn, why can't my parents be normal Singaporean parents for once?

On a brighter note, I finally got my notebook AKA My Precciousss. Also had my first KI lesson today [which clashed with Choir practice] which was unbelievably fun/thought provoking. Like my OGL said, when you compare KI and GP, GP is so dry and boring. There's a JAM[something assessment of music] tomorrow which ALSO clashes with choir and there's KI on Friday which clashes with choir AGAIN. I'm gonna be driven mad by my timetable/schedule/hellish treadmill-like school life really soon. I'm so agitated that I can't even type in proper English. GAHHHHHH I HATE my timetable.

Classes

2007-01-09T16:36:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, I think I am crazy. Crazy not as in I do weird/funny shit once in a while. Crazy as in full plumb loco lock me up in a strait jacket and throw me into an asylum. I'm going to be doing KI (Knowledge Inquiry) and TSD (Theater Studies and Drama) at the same time and I'm most probably joining Choir (which meets 3 times a week) I'm a nut. A really really loony nut.

Can't believe I actually got into KI. The question they set was so hard and I really thought my answer was not relevant at all. Oh well, stranger things have happened. Just can't stop worrying about time management because I've never been the most efficient person around.

Yet, in spite of all the problems I foresee, I can't stop this little bubble of anticipation and excitement from rising up within me. The greater the challenge(s), the greater the sense of satisfaction no? If I can manage to pull this off...hello to saccharine sweet satisfaction.

Defence

2007-01-07T20:20:00.001+08:00

Made another trip to Sim Lim Square as well as Funan Mall with my dad this afternoon. Most probably going to get a Lenovo Y400 notebook in about a week. The specs are fantastic. Had a ball discussing everything from the graphics cards [integrated/dedicated] to the RAM to the battery life to the processor [Core 2 Duo baby] with the sales people. I feel a little nerdish typing this. The only downside lies in the fact that it has no integrated webcam and that it weighs 2.4kg. Anyway two words: Cannot. Wait.

So Orientation ended the day before. Thank goodness my group escaped from having to play the messy games. Messy as in eggs, flour, vinegar, ketchup, mud and god knows what else. O Night was quite fun- although BB didn't win the Best Family Award, our *ally* Jack Sparrow did. The skin on my face is peeling because of the slight sunburn I got. Thankfully, its not very painful/irritating. Also anticipating the class I'm placed in. Can only hope that no one I already dislike is there.

Who knew defending my dearest cousin would land me in a situation like this? Having my virtue and level of maturity insulted...what fun. Don't fool around with me, you loathsome little imbecile. Brush up on your vocabulary and maybe we'll talk. Because four-letter words do not impress me and I don't wish to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed person. Oh yeah, come up with better material than the pathetic trash you are spewing or you are beyond welcome to take your gibberish somewhere else. That's all. I hope you can digest at least half of that.

1st day

2007-01-03T22:20:00.000+08:00

I know this is a little belated but happy new year everyone~ May you enjoy success in whatever you do in 2007.

So. First day in TPJC was disorientating. I never thought I'd miss TKGS but strangely enough I do. I miss the sea of green uniforms, the screams that occur practically every minute, the school cheers especially TK Philosophy, the absence of testosterone and the rickety pianos situated in random spots. I miss the teachers I respect, the friends I love and everything else besides the paint job that turned our nice beige school building into a kaleidoscopic disaster.

My OG is Blackbeard 37. The theme is "Pirates". Arrr matey. Not. The principal was a bit of a joke. 1) She's new and she did not stop emphasizing that. "We're all in this together". Yeah. Methinks she watched too much High School Musical. 2)When the VPs and HODs were being introduced, she interrupted and treated her staff like children. "Oh stand in a straight line please. Stand in a straight line." She'd better get some things sorted out. Or her staff is probably gonna rebel against her. In pirate lingo: Them seadogs are gonna mutiny. Arrrrrrrr. Make 'er walk the plank.

The choir song they tried [note: operative word being 'tried'] to made us learn was ridiculous. They sang the verse really high and the chorus low. Just damn retarded. Games were alright I guess. My OG just so happens to be completely Arts. 16 girls and 3 guys--which would have put us at a distinct disadvantage in the "form the longest line with whatever you have" game cause the strategy the guys in other teams were using was to whip their shirts off...and unless we were willing to put on a show similar to the Crazy Horse Paris Cabaret show....Thankfully, we got to skip that due to time constraints and just did a cheering contest in lieu of the game. My voice is partially gone now cause the OGL asked me to lead the "Blackbeard Oie" cheer and we probably did it like 9-10 times. I was so fatigued that towards the end I even got a part of the cheer wrong and everyone (including me) started giggling.

It was strange to see so many 4/9 people in TP. One after another, I spotted them. There are about 10-11 niners in TP, including me. That's more than a quarter of the class! Can't help but wonder. Oh funny sidenote: When we started learning the cheers for our respective families, we heard the Captain Hook family going "Brrr it's cold in here, there must be some HOOKERS in the atmosphere!" Wah lau. Was damn tempted to shout "How much do you charge?" but decided not to in the end.

Post Xmas

2006-12-28T19:47:00.000+08:00

Quite a lot has happened since the last time I updated. The unsuccessful appeal, the 6/2 reunion, the Christmas Eve spent at a family friend's place, the Christmas gathering at my place that was followed by a Japanese horror movie. Therefore: Long post.

The reunion was a lot better than the previous one (which was just....pathetic) Almost half the class met up to get some steamboat at Marina. Not that it was like typical reunions where everyone reconnected with everyone and promised to stay in touch forever and ever and ever more. Just...a chance to meet up with the friends we had, to find out who is going where, to enjoy good food and to have fun. We all stayed in our own little cliques. A little friendly banter with the rest. Oh. The people who ran that steamboat place are frigging smart. They waited outside the Marina Bay MRT station and grabbed customers there. Even provided transport through a minivan. The steamboat was a pretty novel experience for me. Never had teppanyaki through the aluminum foil--trying to avoid the oil that was spurting and gobbling the half-cooked meat was a lot of chaotic fun. After we finished eating (The guys took a century to finish. They even took our prawns. How utterly unsurprising.) we walked to the pool/bowling center. Which incidentally was the place where we waited for hours during NDP'05. Watched most of them play for a while, grew tired of watching and went bowling with Cheryl, Marjorie, Zhen Luan and Siew Hwee. I pretty much sucked in the first half but I got into "mah-grooooove" after the 6th turn.

006. Licensed to kill.

After that, we (Cheryl, Marjorie, Moi) went to the arcade. Originally, we wanted to play Bishi Bashi but that was taken over by a whole bunch of girls so we switched to Panic Park which I'd never tried before. Gosh, t' was so much fun. I looked terrible in most of the photos though, so purely out of vanity *smirk* I'm not gonna post any here.

Christmas Eve/Day were a little lackluster to me. Boring, in fact. The Christmas mood was just not in me and I got a grand total of 3 presents since my family doesn't really celebrate it. But there was a lady who was present at the family friend's party and tragedy struck. She left early to go to the Esplanade to watch a show, took a bad fall..and died. I don't really know that auntie but to think that I'd seen her a mere few hours before her death...well my jaw dropped when my mum told me of the news yesterday. Life is so fleeting, so fragile. The suddenness of her demise only served to emphasize that fact. Carpe diem indeed.

The Christmas gathering was just that: a gathering. With really good food but little else. After that a whole bunch of us went to Geylang for supper. Caught glimpses of leering men and ladies of the night. Also rented this horror movie called Reincarnation. Fantastic plot (which is rare in Japanese horror movies which tend to be rather random) that set my pulse racing.

Took another trip to Sim Lim Square yesterday trying to find a decent Core 2 Duo Laptop that would fit the budget (1.5K) my dad set. Actually managed to find one in the Samsung X11. Did more research on it. It should fit my purposes nicely. But this morning, something rather amusing happened when I told my dad of my findings. He said something like "I was going to make you an offer. If you can lose 5 kg by Chinese New Year, I will increase the budget by 500. So 1 kg 100 dollars." Arghhhh. I finally found one that I liked and then he had to go offer me that. I'd rather he hand me the money instead. Lol. FAT chance of that ever happening.

A day of first experiences

2006-12-16T22:33:00.000+08:00

I got posted to TPJC. Did have a gut feeling that's where I'd be ending up. Trying to appeal into SA though. Can only hope it goes through.

Had a heck of an outing with Cass and Aunty Eileen[AE] yesterday. Originally, I'd planned to bring them to Sakuraya in Parkway [the Japanese store/restaurant] for lunch but that plan got thrown straight out the window when AE asked whether we wanted to go to Vivocity [for the first time]. So off we went. Vivo. Is. Friggin. Huge. Went to Swensen's [for the first time as well] for lunch. Got the black pepper steak. Medium. Like I told Cass and AE: I always feel like a barbarian when I tuck into a good steak. *points* " You juicy. Me likey." *insert tribal chant*

Oh and there's a Japanese store that sells everything for $2, Daiso, and I mean it sells everything. Watched Eragon in the cinema while AE went shopping--I had to keep reminding myself to think of the novel and movie as separate entities because I think the movie had only about 5-10% in common with the novel. I wasn't the only one who got pissed by the movie...lots of people were complaining as well lol..Of course those who hadn't read the novel found the movie fine [Cass] so when we got to Parkway I bought her the book as an early birthday gift. Was hunting high and low for the bloody book and when I finally asked one of the workers there she told me it was at the entrance *sweatdrops* I was looking for the original blue cover with Saphira's picture on it...

After going round PP for a while, we headed over to KBOX for some singing and dinner. The people who run it are freaking smart. They say it's 26 bucks per person and they pile 15% more for services[what serving us the bill?] and GST. At least the dinner buffet was good.

English is the language I share an affinity with so I've always thought of myself as a 'kentang'. But I was bored when I got home so I did a little list of the songs I sang. Number of English songs I sang : 7. Number of Mandarin songs I sang : 15. Oh dearie me. Strange though, I have a feeling that I sound nicer when I sing in Chinese.

Fraction

2006-12-05T13:57:00.000+08:00

I wrote something as a spur of the moment thing. It did happen and although I think it [essay/snippet/whatchamacallit] is pretty nonsensical, what the heck.
----------------------------------------------------
Fraction of a second

I was sitted comfortably in the taxi, enjoying the blasts from the air-con as I chattered aimlessly with the driver. He was crouching at the back of a truck, exposed to the sweltering heat and humidity. We were at a junction waiting..waiting for that red to dissipate and for that green to appear. Just like magic. My thoughts wandered as I took a quick glance at my surroundings.

Our eyes met for a fraction of a second. Almost instinctively, I turned and looked away. Who was he to me? Noone significant. We had nothing in common at all: I, the Singaporean student; Him, the Bangladeshi foreign worker.

Our eyes met for that fraction of a second. But I looked away without a smile or second thought for he is invisible. The foreign workers are the invisible people. Their invisibility is caused by the ruthless efficiency Singapore demands. A standard of efficiency that in an ironic twist of events, they had helped to create.

Our eyes only met for a fraction of a second. But he is not a nobody. He is a somebody. Somebody who has dreams and ambitions he gave up to travel to a foreign country alone in the hopes of having a better life. If we were born under different stars, under different circumstances or in different countries, I could easily be him and he could easily be me in return.

We couldn't be anymore different, we couldn't be anymore the same.

Our eyes met for all of that fraction of a second. A single wisp of thread woven into the Tapestry of Time for all eternity. I had looked away but when the brunt of the situation and the extent of my indulgent selfishness hit me, I wanted to look back at him. Those eyes that had connected with mine for that one moment. But the magic occurred. Red turned to green in a split second and all the vehicles were moving. I tried to turn, to look at him, but the truck was gone. The truck was gone but my shame lingered for I looked away after that fraction of a second.

Lost

2006-12-03T21:19:00.000+08:00

As they say. "When the cat's away, the mice come out to play."

Without my parents here in Singapore, more drama is happening between me and my brother--I can honestly say that I wasn't the one who started it and that my conscience is clear. I just feel that he is really turning into a carbon copy of my dad. Anyway the drama is one of a rather cold nature. Basically we're screwing with each other's computer+computer accessories. So, I'm actually typing this from an internet cafe in Katong Shopping Centre.

I went to Sim Lim Square today. To try and get some of the missing stuff I need. Bloody hell, I had to ask bus driver after bus driver whether it was on their route and they all gave me wrong answers. Every single one of them recommended another bus I had already approached. In the end, I got fed up and took 14 to Suntec City, and cabbed the rest of the way.

So after leaving Sim Lim, I had nooooo idea where/how to get home. That led to me walking and walking and walking around for a bus stop that had a bus I actually knew. Finally [AND I MEAN FINALLY] managed to find 56 to take back to Suntec, and took 10 from there. It was a bloody adventure and a half, looking for bus stops.

The past few days have been spent at the Red Camp at Ngee Ann Poly. Damn fun even though I missed the 2nd day because 1) I wasn't feeling too good 2) I overslept. The tour of the school for film and media studies was a disappointment and truth be told, a pain in the arse. 1) The ambassadors were late 2) We only managed to see the live TV recording 3) Unlike the other teams, we didn't get to tour the sound and recording studios etc. The emcees and SLs were so great..lame but really great. OH. The Lapdance. Oh man. It'll probably be on Youtube soon. The images have been seared into my eyeballs. *Coughs* A few of the emcees were pretty cute. *Points at Bhav [TIMOTHY]* Bhav, you are hereby dubbed the Indian equivalent to Olivia. Olivia took a few minutes, but you took 2 days. Not too bad lar. Haven't wrangled the pictures from Bhav so when I do, I'll post 'em here.

GREEN TEAM ROCKS. [even though we had a particularly dismal showing in the lucky draw.]

Speechless.

2006-11-26T16:02:00.000+08:00

I'm beyond pissed right now.

Because of all the family drama that's been happening (which I didn't contribute a whit to) and a particularly sticky ticket situation, my trip to Paris/London has been pretty much cancelled. Note that I say the word 'my' cause my parents are going. Without me. For 2 weeks. FUCK sia. To hell with proper English.

So they're jetting off tomorrow. Yay.

I'm still in a state of semi-disbelief. All that anticipation, preperation and excitement...all for nought. Obviously, there is a lot of bitterness and resentment encased in my being as of right now. But I'll get over it. I have to.

The only good thing that has happened the last couple of days is that M is helping me get a job through his friend who works with Lifesciences. Admin stuff that shouldn't be too taxing. The pay isn't too bad as well - Around $6.50 - $7 per hour.

Anyway, just to conclude a short post, let me reiterate: FUCK sia.

Prom

2006-11-23T18:05:00.000+08:00

So Prom was last night. T'was fun to see everyone dolled up and looking gorgeous. I didn't have enough time to do my makeup properly (At 5.30 Mum decided to go to Parkway to buy sushi for my dad after my hair was done) so it was barely visible in the photos.

The emcee...was pretty entertaining. Couldn't stand his running gag with PCD's 'Dontcha' though. I took a whole bunch of photos, with teachers/mrs Chia/friends/acquaintances. Who knew that camwhoring was so much fun? Best thing that happened that night was Kash and Suad being there...after giving me a cardiac arrest last night.

I was damn reluctant to wash my hair last night. It was the first time I ever had true-blue curls~

Have been editing my CW essay ( I managed to find it in some obscure sub-folder) for the school magazine. Hopefully, it doesn't turn out too badly. Apparently a lot of the people who congratulated me didn't know I could write. Lol. I don't really blame them cause I don't look the part. At least a word of congrats is infinitely preferable to the lambasting I got from a certain green-eyed Miss TKGS finalist. Anyway, enough rambling..here are the photos.
Me, Suad, Kash, Push, Tanvi, Preeti

Mrs M Chia

All of us giving attitude to the poor bull in the lobby who was practically sexually harrassed by us.

Jacqueline, Aradhna, Xin Yu, Bhav, Adelicia, Me
Suad and I
Mrs Karen Tan and I
A Maths Teacher, Ms Lee
Sarah-Ann the resident Literature Pro
Mrs Chan, FM who teaches Chem and gave us saga seeds
Me and Faiz~
Beatrice with her electric blue mascara and dyed hair (swoons in envy)
Mrs Loe--FM teaching English. Note to self: Get her a pastel coloured fan from Chinatown.
Me and Yan
Mdm Adela Chee! HCL teacher who snuck in at around 9/10+
Tanvi and Me!
Mrs Shirley Hoe..Lit teacher
Anne-Marie, Tanvi and me. Gawd my double chin is showing here.
Me and Bhav!!
I like this photo even though it's dark. Beatrice, me and Melissa
Pushpa and me~~
Xinya ^^
Suad and me! Love this pic.
Besties. Suad and Kash~ My shawl was falling off and I grabbed it at the very moment the camera went off lol.

There are probably a few more photos I haven't uploaded yet. Will get around to it soon.

2006-11-21T22:53:00.000+08:00

Parking Pontianak

Oh. Mein. Gott. This is some funny shit. The minah accents that the Dim Sum Dollies use are so cute! "I say 'Hello got no choice must meet my quota!'"

NA BEH

OVER

2006-11-17T20:52:00.000+08:00

It's over! IT'S F*CKING OVER! WHOOOO~

But damn, I spotted the wrong chapters for History. Damn bloody ulu la the questions. So basic but so unexpected. I think a lot of us didn't study UN and League of Nations...hopefully my SS will save my Comb. Humans. Wow, we went wild (alliteration *whoo*) after the exams and Suad was there even though she had no papers. We dropped our bags and ran one round around the circular block screaming our lungs out and trying to stifle the screams and giggles outside the conference room where the invigilators were. Unfortunately, we had to drop our Swensens plan because of 'unforeseen' (I sound like Source A) circumstances. But we (Suad, Kash, Faiz, Yagnya and I) pigged out on Cornetto, Coke and Lay's Sour Cream and Onion on the Caltex floor. We were desperately hunting for the halal symbol on the Ruffles and Doritos but to no avail--nevertheless I had a blast making a fool out of myself. I recall singing HSM/Evanescence/ Irene Cara/ Forbidden City songs at one point but who cares? Certainly not my friends.

I'm going to miss the aunties and uncles in TKGS. So very very much. Aunty Alice--I used to think she was weird but now I converse with her in Chinese everytime I see her..she has some really interesting stories. Oh and she likes to form a tag team with the orange plate aunty to give me nutritional advice--nagging me to eat more vegetables and telling me what soup the stalls are selling. The Western Food stall Aunty who remembers my name and preferences and never fails to greet me with a warm smile and a quotable line or two. The Drink-stall-Aunties- who-should-quit-and-become comedians who remember that I like chee cheong fun, siew mai and ice lemon tea and chat with me about Korean serial dramas and everything else under the sun. The uncle who helped me in D and T in my early Sec years and wished me good luck this morning..I could go on and on..They're sorely underappreciated and I wish they weren't so for they deserve all the praise and respect they can get from us students.

Stones

2006-11-10T23:28:00.000+08:00

I won't blog about the horrors that was Paper 2 of E Maths, suffice to say that an A1 would be incredibly hard to achieve.

I will however, blog about my dad's discovery of his kidney stones (2 small ones in the left, 1 big one 11mm in the right)

This morning was a whirlwind of activity and shock for me. I learnt that when I was sleeping the previous night, my father had to visit the hospital--being in intense pain does something to you. Before the exams, he had to go take an X-ray. During my exams, he was getting the results..Apparently, the pain is due to the big stone moving around.

Anyway, he was scheduled to see the doctor on Monday to begin the treatment, something about soundwaves breaking up the big one, but being in that much pain he didn't think he could hold out that long and his very rich/influential friend managed to get his private doctor to contact him.

He's on his way to the hospital again. My mother and sister had to accompany him, and my mum was supporting his arm.

Seeing the man who has been strong all my life being in this vulnerable a state is decidedly unsettling and worrying.

I swear--I'm going to cut down on my sodium intake from now on.

Propaganda. Over and done with.

2006-11-06T23:01:00.000+08:00

Yes....E Maths 1 and SS today. E Maths was surprisingly fine. For once I found myself being able to do the damn polygon and int/ext angle question. There was a 4 hour 'break' between the papers so Kash and I ended up in the Tamil Language Room studying with Amanda and Sumati..I was quite lucky in the sense that 2.5 out of 3.5 of the topics I spotted/studied came out.

(Cass! I told you Sustaining Development, Merger and N. Ireland yesterday. Muahaha. Admit it lor, I'm the best ^^)

I missed a few points in my SBQ though. No matter-I *think* I did enough to scrape a 20 for it.

When I was studying in the TLR, I whined to Kash so much, I think she might have secretly wanted to bang me over the head with a club. Just how stupid does the government think we are if they want to believe that we can't identify bullshit/propaganda for what it is? What ticks me off the most is that we are actually forced to swallow it down and not utter a single word of protest.

对不起，我实在是咽不下这口气。想来想去，我心无法平静，却充满着怒气。

The greatest truth/irony found in the English Teacher is one that we as Singaporean students are faced with everyday.

Fancy eating some "dead mutton" anyone?

Mugged Up and Repeated

2006-11-02T20:25:00.000+08:00

I regurgitated everything about I knew about the theme of education.
Everything except two crucial quotes. "I mug and repeat and they mug up and repeat in examinations" and "What about our roots?"

(*&Q($^*@&#^$@*!$!@$#$^%%$^&!@$%#@$^!#@$&$@%^@~#$%#@$^

That's what I thinking about that right now. But then again, there really isn't much point in crying over spilt milk now is there? The unseen was..fine. I had about 30 minutes to hammer out 2 answers of decent length and against all odds, I did.

CAN YOU STOP F*CKING HARPING ON ME? Giving me that "You're just being 'modest' about your lit, you bitch" look. There's no guarantee in this. No matter how I think I fared, it doesn't matter. I haven't obtained an A1 for Literature in 2 years so just...stop. I'm growing so unbelievably weary of you. I have trouble with remembering the quotes, I 'mug up' just about as much as everyone else and the only subject that comes naturally for me is English. Not Literature. Period.

Yes, my standard of English is higher than that of the average person. In the sense of vocabulary and grammer. That's it. I'm not boasting or anything, it's just fact. Does accurate English mean a high grade in Lit? F*ck no.

Because I lack a natural flair unlike some people I know - but that's okay with me.

Because I know I have talents in other areas besides putting my pen to paper.

I have had 'friends' (okay just one) stab me in the back for my supposed writing skills. But that's fine. Because I grew from that experience, I learnt from it, I dropped that 'friend'/'acquaintance' like a hot coal and I lost some of my naivety.

Point of this entry is: Shut the f*ck up about my 'writing skills' and my so called 'prowess' in English. Because I honestly think I will throw the contents of my stomach (Which believe me, is a lot considering there's a reason I'm overweight) up the next time I hear your self-righteous spiel and whining.

I know you won't ever read this but DAMN, whoever said blogging was cathartic was right~

1 down. A lot more to go.

2006-10-30T17:01:00.000+08:00

Chinese is over. Chinese is over. Assuming that I pass this, I'll never have to touch another Chinese essay in my life. Sweet~

Have been trying to get myself into gear. It ain't working. My butt is still stuck semi- permanently to this chair.

Have been trying to get myself into French mode. It's sort of working. I'm alternating Pimsleur lessons, Lara Fabian's Je T'aime and Adagio (Italian but hey it's still a foreign language) and Il Divo's duet with Celine Dion I Believe In You. I can't seem to get the videos into my Zen Vision:M. I don't get it--it accepted the other (english) Lara Fabian videos (Broken Vow, Papa Can You Hear Me/Piece of Sky and MOTN) a few months back so why not now?

I've come to realise that I have a sort of paedophilic streak in me : I get a wee bit obsessed with young boys with angelic voices. When I say obsessed I mean I scour the Internet (Youtube, fansites and official sites) for anything on them : First it was Jean Baptiste Maunier (Star of Les Choristes) but his voice broke last year and he supposedly wants to concentrate more on acting. Then it was Billy Gilman (My sister keeps bugging me for his songs), but puberty hit him a fairly long time ago. Now it's Declan Galbraith- Well mostly I just like his song Tell Me Why.

I collected the 2 essays from Mrs Hoe's locker (well on top of it anyway) and my eyes were switching between the 2 so quickly I looked like a cartoon character.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Then I felt like burning mine up. So I've got both an inferiority and a paedophilic complex. Sue me. Sue me big.

apocalypse

2006-10-24T21:44:00.000+08:00

I can't find my copy of "The English Teacher"

I haven't finished typing out my notes for it.

I haven't been studying. The little bit that I have studied is negligible.

In short: I'm screwed.

French

2006-10-20T10:41:00.001+08:00

Because of my impending trip at the end of Nov to London and Paris, I've decided to learn some conversational French through Pimsleur so I won't be totally pathetic once I reach Paris. And lesson 9 was unbelievably interesting.

[ Sidenote: I'M GOING TO SEE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA IN LONDON, YES YES YES YES YES YES YES! *ahem* Apparently the tix are much cheaper there as well. Maybe I'll get to watch it twice :D Been watching Brad Little (The Phantom on the Asian tour) on Youtube and he's quite impressive..Excuse me while I go sing Christine's part in the shower...]

English translation of Lesson 9 of Pimsleur's Speak and Read French 1

Man: Hello miss, would you like to drink something with me?
Woman: Not miss, madame.
M: Oh sorry madame. But would you like to drink something with me?
W: No sir.
M: At one o'clock?
W: No.
M: At two o'clock?
W: No. I would not like to drink something with you.
M: At eight o'clock?
W: Certainly not.
M: Ah, I understand now. You dont want to drink something with me.
W: Good, you understand now.
M: But you would like to eat something with me in a restaurant. (MY FACE FAULTED HERE) At eight o'clock or at nine o'clock?
W: Not at one o'clock and not at two o'clock. Not at eight o'clock and not at nine o'clock.
M: At what time?
W: You don't understand sir.
M: I don't understand what?
W: You don't understand French sir.

Pimsleur needs to STOP hiring horny native speakers who can't take no for an answer. If I'd been the woman in that scenario, my palm would have totally gone "Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon" on his face.

thoughts. just thoughts

2006-10-18T16:55:00.000+08:00

This is my chinese song that I've meant to post for a while but never got around to doing so...Changed my template- it's a lot easier with this than tampering around with html when I frankly suck at it.

Sometimes I wish I can write in a cheeem (sophisticated is the best translation I can come up with) way or write about deep topics but unless I'm in that particular mood, it is rather hard for me to do so. As much as I want to write a poignant entry about 4 years coming to a close, it's difficult for me to encompass all that I'm feeling with mere words. It's not a matter of saying "Regretful, check. Happy, check. Relieved, check. Thankful, check." But I feel that what is left unsaid will always be more important than what is actually uttered or typed so in the end I will keep it short and sweet. Thank you, TKGS, for giving me the best as well as the worst 4 years of my life.

眼泪(Tears)

天色的变化让我伤透了心
它使我想起你的微笑之影
海浪和我一起唱了一歌
它叫作“眼泪”而你听不到的

如果她确实比我好
悲伤我会掩盖起来
这就是所谓的“真爱”
若我的爱困住了你
我会渐渐让你走
泪只好留到你离开之后

那时，柳树陪我哭了一场
因为你答应过我天久地长
现在星星不再为我们闪烁
而我也应该回到我的生活

如果她存心为你好
悲伤我会掩盖起来
这是我所谓的“真爱”
若你真的爱上她
我会渐渐让你走
泪只好留到你离开之后

如果你真的爱上她
我会渐渐让你走
泪必须留到你离开之后

Here's a rough translation. I know that it looks sappy, but that's the way Mandopop songs are - melodramatic :D

Change in the weather makes me sad for a while
Each time I'll think about shadows of your smile
The waves and I, we sang a song together
This song's called 'Tears' and is one you'll never hear

If she's truly better than me
My sorrow I'll never voice out loud
Isn't that what love's all about?
And if my love made you feel pained
I will slowly set you free
Tears will be held back till after you leave

I was with the willows, weeping like never before
Because you promised me forever and more
Now the stars no longer shine for us two
And I need to get back to my life before you

If she truly means you well
My sorrow I'll never voice out loud
Because to me, that's what love's all about
And if you are really in love with her
I will slowly set you free
Tears will be held back till after you leave

If you truly fell for her
I will slowly set you free
Tears must be held back till after you leave

bday sis

2006-10-08T01:31:00.000+08:00

It's 1.25am, 8 October now, my sister's first day after turning the big 2-1. Was watching Stuck on You with my family (Direct, 2 aunties and uncles and my grandmother), and right at the upper left hand corner on the TV was the PSI reading. It read: 140. Like OMFG. I have a really bad feeling that it's gonna get a lot uglier before it gets better. And if this is the PSI reading in Singapore, I would rather not imagine the readings in Malaysia and Indonesia.

Status report. My brother and his best friend,M, just went out to club. My sister is comforting her friend who's hunched over the toilet bowl hurling cause she has relationship problems and consequently got drunk. I drank 2 Bombers(Kahlua liquor, Bailey's cream and vodka) that M fixed for me at the party. I like the burning sensation as it moves down my throat. Like a warm fire tickling my oesophagus and settling in my stomach. Not really affected by it though cause Kahlua is a cocktail liquor that can even be added to coffee and the vodka content was low. Before they (M and Bro) went out, I made a pinkyswear with M that in 1 and 1/2 years time, he will bring me to the best clubs. He said that he would love to bring me clubbing now but the bouncers will just not let me in. My reply? "Don't even have to wait for the bouncers. My brother will kick me out of the cab first." M: "Good one! So true" and we banged our fists together.

My elder sister is not so subtly trying to get me into SAJC for my first few monthes. Apparently the Literature teacher there is quote "Crazy, but super" unquote. I think that there is a real possibility in my going there because of my crappy L1R5 as it's not too far from my house. Another real possible choice would be TPJC, if only for the Theatre Studies and Drama course that they offer. However, was terribly turned off by the talk, so in any case, serious consideration is definitely in order. I just hope I make a wise choice - cause only hindsight is 20/20.

I think it's a little sweet that my brother always tries to stop me from drinking. The way in which he does so may be abrasive and irritating but it is a cute thought nevertheless. I suppose there IS an overprotective mechanism in elder brothers after all, no matter how deeply it may be buried.

haze

2006-10-06T22:10:00.000+08:00

I HATE THE HAZE~I HATE THE HAZE~I HATE THE HAZE~I HATE THE HAZE~I HATE THE HAZE~I HATE THE HAZE~I HATE THE HAZE~I HATE THE HAZE~I HATE THE HAZE~I HATE THE HAZE~I HATE THE HAZE~I HATE THE HAZE~I HATE THE HAZE~I HATE THE HAZE~I HATE THE HAZE~I HATE THE HAZE~I HATE THE HAZE~

I look out my window and I see.....a blur because of the freaking haze.
The acrid smell of smoke is killing my olfactory glands. What the bloody hell is the use of us studying the harmful effects of smoking when every breath we take in contains second hand smoke from Sumatra? Indonesia has GOT to do something about this.

My nose just can't take it anymore. If this goes on, the haze will destroy it long before a lousy plastic surgeon does a Michael Jackson number on me.

OOOOOH! PHANTOM OF THE OPERA IS COMING TO SINGAPORE! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~ I'm gonna be able to fufill one of my lifelong dreams. In the words of Ronald Weasley. "Wicked."

results

2006-10-04T21:09:00.000+08:00

WTF man. I failed my Higher Chinese by 2.5 marks. ARGH~ I NEED THOSE 2 BONUS POINTS. E Maths came back as a disaster. Just scraped a B3 when I'd foolishly expected an A. Got my distinctions for Lit and English...12th Night saved my butt (the majority of it anyway). My damn L1R5 is 15. How the heck am I supposed to go to VJC? I'm kissing that notion goodbye now. But it was better than it deserved to be considering my "revision" for the prelims was basically cramming the night before and waking up in the wee hours to cram somemore.

Bio...well...I got a B4 which is better than what I usually do but still pretty crappy. Was walking out of the school from the main gate with Tanvi from 4/2 when Mr Peh rode up with his Honda Phantom bike and talked to us a little. He gave some pretty good advice especially about the practical and identifying what the questions are actually asking for. I really like him--he's so nice. Even though he doesn't teach me, I like him a lot better than Ms Tay...I shouldn't go off into one of my rants about her..OH! Whilst he was talking, I noticed the box at the back of his bike that had the words "Easybox" in this really pastel colour I think. Lol, doesn't that kinda/sorta diminishes the whole macho effect of his black bike?

I'm just hoping that somewhere out there there's a form of deity that specializes in moderating Singaporean students' exams. Goodness knows how much he/she is required right now. Regrets are like ground glass in your system--They stay there for what seems like forever, they hurt like fuck and they eat you up from inside.

On a lighter note, was fooling around with my sis on her brand new Apple Mac OS and its inbuilt camera. As they say, a picture's worth a thousand words so here's 5 of the best below.
Introducing my conjoined twin, Einahpets. She's invisible in the day..that's why you don't see her

My sister (who turns 21 on Saturday!) the undiscovered Willa Hung~

I look like one of those Fooglies from Spy Kids without the Play-Doh colours .

In case you were wondering: Yes, my sister's hair is in fact extremely tasty.

My sister the parallelogram hamster and me the koala who was experimented upon by pioneer plastic surgeons.

To those who are down in the dumps because of the prelims results, I feel your pain and I hope the pictures cheered you up some.

God of moderation. Please make the teachers be merciful. Read it in Mrs Hoe's God-of-Thirupathi-please-make-Samuel-beat-me tone.

forbidden city

2006-09-24T12:24:00.000+08:00

Holy guacamole! (Always had an urge to use that in a sentence) Forbidden City was unbelievable. Would have been worth every cent even if the school didn't subsidize.
Here's why it was so bloody great.

1) Kit Chan and the three foreign actors Leigh Mcdonald, Sheila Francisco and the guy who played the good guy turned evil bastard, George, were all fantastic singers
2) The bookkeepers~ PANGU! Hossan Leong and Sebastian Tan(?) were damn funny. Even though I was surprised that the black bookkeeper, Sebastian, completely outshined Hossan.
3) The MUSIC. It made me understand why Dick Lee was awarded the Cultural Medallion. Man's a genius. Plus it was quite amusing to see the conductor bouncing up and down.
4) The way they made full use of the huge metal frame as a prop.
5) The little kids that played Tung-Chih and Guangxu

Here's why it wasn't so great

1) Like the Strait's Time review said, they 'de-clawed' Cixi. We all know Cixi from our history books as a power grabber and a manipulating b*tch. Would have been nice to see snippets of that side of her personality instead of the sappy and desperate portrayal that was offered over and over again.
2) Some of the songs/music keep repeating. For example "Only Chance" was first sung by Yehenara(Kit Chan), then she did a reprise, following that was a version by Kate Carl and finally by the elderly Cixi. Lovely songs and lyrics, but too much is just that. Overkill.
3) They missed out a couple of important details like the Boxer Rebellion and the way she imprisoned Guangxu in the Winter Palace. But I guess they could only fit so much into the time they had.

The Esplanade people selling food are daylight robbers~ One itsy-bitsy, teeny-tiny can of Pringles cost me a whopping 4 bucks and one normal Mars bar cost me 3. Freaking ridiculous. What's even more absurd is the fact that I actually bought it cause I was starving.

Had to keep explaining to my junior who was seated to my right. She even asked me what a "STD" was. (Or 'disease of whores' as Cixi so charmingly put it) ZOMG. Then when I told her, she went 'Oh' and told the person on her right. Er right. After the entire thing, was talking to Mrs Hoe and she confessed to me that she cried at one part; when Kit Chan's 'baby' was ripped away from her arms. Awwww. Later, walked over to Starbucks with Limin, Duha and Diyana; tried the Raspberry blended tea (Which Limin said tasted like the Ricola Giant Bluefruits) and the pasta salad (disgusting so don't waste your money on it).

Did I ever mention that I "hate" people who possess a disgustingly high metabolism rate? Limin ate like half a pasta salad and half a potato salad and still went "I'm hungry..still can take dinner" *Cue my jaw hitting the floor*

Like winter needs the fire
Like temples needs a shrine
Like lovers need desire
Like prophets need a sign
I need him, can't you see?
I need him to be mine.

-Kit Chan as Yehenara
-Stephen Clark as lyricist

2006-09-24T00:50:00.000+08:00

Talking Cock in Parliament - Hossan Leong

"James Lye is the VR man." ROFL. Who could forget that? Certainly not Diana Ser-her man in black spandex is a hot sight. I'm currently toying with an idea regarding this song(We didn't start the fire-Billy Joel)..we'll see where it leads to...

prelims end

2006-09-22T11:39:00.000+08:00

The prelims have ended~ whoo hoo....now that I've learnt that my A2 for Chinese can be used, I'm pretty sure my L1R5 will be below 20...What is there left to say about prelims? Some were good, some were manageable, some were bad and some were disastrous (read: Lit unseen and HCL)

So after my last paper (Bio MCQ), went to Parkway to get my mum's present...Got this beautiful candleholder with red and orange leaves, N93 silicon case and paper to do the card. I had to slave over that card for hours but it turned out nice even though the silver pen ran out of ink. But the silicon case turned out to be for the wrong model cause my sister told me my mum's phone t'was N93 when it was in fact N73. So in short. WT(Bloody)H.

Oh. LUKAS won Rockstar: Supernova. WTF? Out of the final 4, there were 3 that were brilliant and those blind has-been rockers sally forth to get the lousiest and emo poseur complete with caked makeup who had at most only 2 good performances throughout the entire season. You know what? It's just as well that the other 3 weren't picked- They will have wonderful solo careers.

I can only take the next 3 days to have fun...After that I will just have to dig real deep to find the self-discipline I know is buried within me, buckle down to mug however much that goes against my character(?) ... Waking up at 3, with only 4 hrs or less of sleep, just to cram last minute information into my brain...that was my daily ritual during the prelims. But no more. History will not repeat itself any longer and I refuse to cram for my 'O's.

2006-08-31T23:19:00.000+08:00

Independence day speech in Japanese accent (English Lesson)

Hee hee hee. This is damn funny especially when he says (or attempts to say) the word 'survive'. Extra credit for being so enthusiastic though *note the fist pump*

drowned

2006-08-31T21:27:00.000+08:00

So. Three events since the last time I blogged.
1) O level Orals : I made them laugh! Yay! Picture was so utterly screwed. And with conversation, it was way better than prelim orals. The topic was shopping~ only Singaporean's national pastime. Conv. Q1: Describe the last time you went shopping. I just made up some bullsh!t about going to Parkway with my mum (Damn popular choice. Most of us either said Parkway or outing with ours mothers) Made them laugh when I said something about my mum going to Marks and Spencer's to get my dad clothes because apparently men can't buy their own underwear. I felt like giggling madly too. A little stereotypical but both examiners were women so I thought they'd be able to relate to it.

2) Prelim papers (SS, HMT, Eng) : I saw the merger question and I was going "YES YES YES!" and pumping my fist. Actually everything I spotted except Venice came out so I was lucky in that sense. I heard that a lot of classes knew that Birth of Nations was coming out and not Venice, oh well. HMT sucked. I did some compo about courage and I thought it was quite good. Turns out I didn't read the question properly. They asked for a narrative essay and I gave them a discussive(and a little bit of narrative) essay. Fucking stupid man. I wanted to give myself a good tight slap but that would have seemed odd so I settled for whining. The way I'm whining now. English..well...I liked my essay. I did "Prejudice"-got a good feeling about this. But summary was...killer. It really was. I'm used to having 20-30 minutes after finishing everything to take a nap or check through my answers over and over again but this time I was scrambling till the last second. Hopefully the marks for my essay will help even things out. Getting an A1 for English is essential. It's not even an option for me.

3) Teachers' Day : One word really. Overrun. Thought it was really poorly organized as compared to last year. Aces workout was damn fun even though I was quite irritated by the unenthusiastic person in front of me. Like hello? I just asked you to move a few steps forward so I wouldn't have to worry about accidently hitting you. I didn't ask for anything drastic like cutting off a finger. Get a grip..seriously.

Singapore Idol :JOAKIM IS OUT! FINALLY! Singaporeans have regrown their ears~ It's amazing! On a sadder note, Ryan (The Dark Horse) Star was booted off Rockstar Supernova. Damn. He was one of my favourites. At least there's some consolation found in the fact that the contestants left in that competition are extremely talented.

Wrote another poem yesterday. This one is in a format I've never really tried before.

Drowned

I am drowning now...
can anyone hear me?
I am dying somehow...
will someone miss me?
Gasping desperately
flailing, clawing, futile hands
Wailing silently
there's too much I don't understand.
Lingering bubbles of air
From here, everyone looks so minute
Lungs collapsing there
my gurgled screams seem mute
The water rushes in
I know not what to do
It fills me from within
Has the life I've led been true?
Red dots are exploding...
here inside my mind
Thoughts are retreating...
I'm running out of time
I wish I told him how I feel
I wanted to be more than a friend
Now it'll never happen, never be real
at least the agony will end
Final moments have arrived
the time to live has passed
So this is the end of my life
now peace will come at last.

Edit//: Argh. Blogspot won't let me do it in the format I typed it out in. Ah what the hay. Read it as it is, then read the odd and/or even alternate lines if you have nothing better to do.

zomg

2006-08-20T16:24:00.000+08:00

ZOMG. Saw Li Nanxing and Zoe Tay filming at my condo area~ Went to my balcony to watch a little and Li Nanxing spotted me, smiled and waved! Ah so embarassing--I was still in my nightgown~ Luckily only the upper body was visible. What to do? I just waved back and retreated.

LNX kept going: "你神经啊？我是说你搬到我家来住。(Are you crazy? I meant for you to move to my house)
ZT: something something..你还欠我三百块！(You still owe me 300 bucks) then she stormed off
I'm quite happy. The King and Queen of Caldecott Hill haven't starred together in a Channel 8 drama serials since...a long time. The last one I can remember was 'The Unbeatables III' but I didnt watch it. Soo...I think I might actually watch theirs! From a rough guess I'd say it will come out either the end of this year or next year- just a heads up!

This isnt actually the first time my condo has been chosen for filming drama serials. Fann Wong came by a few years ago and I got her autograph. It's already lost by now though. My maid has actually spotted them filming at other parts of my condo. Perhaps if they come by again, I'd get their autographs..

Of course, I won't be wearing my nightgown then.

zany

2006-08-20T00:07:00.002+08:00

Had a heck load of fun at ECP today. 4e9 won the Zany Parade! Woo~ everything came together nicely and it's great to know that we didn't stay back for 3 days just for nothing.

Loved the cheer but I especially loved these 2 portions.
SH: We're gonna bring you down down down down down ...
(Cue villains flailing our arms and bending our knees in The Matrix style and plonking down our butts unceremoniously onto the grass)
4e9~~~DIVINE NINE! (Diagonal "Heil Hitler" Double-Handed Salute. Ms Saffiah'd better be proud of us. )

The prize sucked but that didn't matter much. Kudos to the runners who tried their best even though the positioning was so screwed up. Double Kudos to the talented people who choreographed and made up the cheer~ For some strange reason, I kept obsessing over the eyeliner...lol. Let's just leave the thick eyeliner to the Malay girls- they looked great.

Got a lift back from Bhavna (who got so frigging high for her MT paper) 's dad. Managed to walk back in time thankfully. Cause two minutes after passing through the door, it started to pour in earnest. I find it rather sad that this was our last Zany Parade. The only time we can humiliate ourselves publicly and not give two hoots about it...The last time we can have fun as a school before the dreaded exams. The ZP is probably one of the best ideas TKGS had ever had.

Was being in a reflective mood in a recent A Maths Class and that means....a poem~ Not a personal fan of this one though. It's repetitive and rather cliched and the flow sucks but oh well.

Runaway

I'd run away from the world today
Escape into the sky
It would be better than hearing
News where the innocent die

I'd run away from the world today
Escape to who-knows-where
It would be better than dealing with
Life that's so unfair

I'd run away from the world today
Escape to places never traipsed before
It would be better than witnessing
The results of mindless wars

I'd run away from the world today
Escape to wherever truth could still remain
It would better than knowing people kill
Each other again and again and again

I'd run away from the world today
Escape and never look back
It would be better than distinguishing
The fiction from the fact

I'd run away from the world today
Escape - the dream eluding my outstretched hand
It would be better if the horrors of the world
remain something I could never understand

P.S: WE WEAR RED RED UNDERWEAR!

why

2006-07-30T19:22:00.000+08:00

I'm rather happy for 2 things. 1)I wrote my first (ever!) Chinese song. I've never even written a Chinese poem, much less a song so for me its a HUGE first. BUT, my dang computer can type chinese yet for some reason when I tried to post the chi lyrics it turned out looking like gibberish..so...yeah 2) I finally figured the chords in another new song thats called 'Why' and its below.

Why

I can't figure out why
she's still in your heart
Its been over some 8 months
since the two of you have been apart

Why that sigh when we pass her
while you're holding my hand?
You said that you loved me
so make me understand

Now it's clear that she's still dear to you
but what I want, is something totally new

(chorus)
Why do you see her when you see me?
Know she saw you first but I'm here now baby
You need to make a choice
You gotta raise your voice
so I can hear you say
"I'll be yours from today"

I can see that in your eyes
memories of her stay
And when we talk, I can tell
that you think of her everyday

Now I know, that she still haunts you so
But what I need is your love for me to show

Repeat chorus

You need to make a choice
You gotta raise your voice
so I can hear you say
"I'll be yours everyday"

salvation

2006-07-21T21:36:00.000+08:00

Carnival day and debate finals today. yay our class won.4/9 VS 4/1 the opposite ends of the spectrum really. proves that the lousiest class (academically) can still beat a triple science class. speakers were all great even though 3 out of 4 overshot. so we entertained the old folks in the 2/9 room. They were so cute~

Edited the first song I ever wrote during Bio and Lit. Always end up doing 1 of 2 things in Bio..1)Sleep 2)Write/compose poems/songs. I swear that it's Tay LL's fault. lol

Actually I'm still quite bummed that I can never find appropriate chords to accompany my songs when I already have the melody. Anyway here it is...my 1st baby lol.

Salvation (There I'll Be)

I'd give my all
To catch you when you fall
Give all my love
When you're down, I'm up above
Looking down when you frown
When you're hoping to be found
Salvation~

Cause there I'll be
Will you see
All the feelings inside of me
And I don't know what to do
Everytime I look at you
Found salvation in you

I'd share my dreams
For you and me are both a team
Share all of me
Cause alone I cannot be
When you're gone I can't go on
Lost in the memory of our song
Salvation~

Cause there I'll be
Will you see
all the love to you from me
And I'm a fool, fool for you
Just one look and I lose my cool
Found salvation in you

(Bridge)
You were my hopes, my dreams
Don't let this be torn up in seams
Won't be able to get by
If you wont tell me why..

Cause there I'll be
Can you see
All the love to you from me
And I'm just scared, of what you'll do
Will we have something that's true
Found salvation in you

My salvation is you...

home parody

2006-07-20T18:04:00.000+08:00

Oral was yesterday. Thought it went quite well albeit one or two hiccups. Was really embarassing at one point though, cause after the picture part Mdm Azizan said Thank you and the incredibly nervous and dense me...STOOD UP. oh my goodness. She looked a bit shocked and was like its not over yet Stephanie. there's still the conversation. What to do? I sat my fat butt back down and apologized profusely ^^. Mdm Azizan was very nice though..gave me some gd comments and constructive criticism.

Today was interesting. Started out a bit worrying though cause Adela Chee didn't come yesterday and today. Apparently she had a personal problem yesterday and...yeah anyway hope its nothing too serious. Really really hoping so because I think she's overall quite a decent teacher. After school we had to decorate the 2/9 classroom for our guests aka the old people. Caryl and I went to KNA to get crepe paper and we had fun~~the atmosphere when we were all working was really light hearted as well and I think we made that room look great *nods*. Another thing that happened was...I finished my food parody of Home during Bio! I was hungry! You just can't begrudge a hungry girl man. You just can't. So here it is~sing along if you want lol.

Home (A Foody/Glutton Version)

Whenever I'm feeling hungry
I call my friend to go Clark Quay,
Newton Circle or Boon Kee
For chicken rice or Hokken mee.

Cause we eat our food together
Just like we've done before
Like roti prata which brings us life
Frying throughout Singapore

(Chorus)
This is home, truly
Where I know I must be
Cause food is waiting for me
And weight is put on easily.
This is home, surely
As my stomach tells me
I would die if all this is gone
For this is where I know I'm home

Though it's a boring place for you
You can just go eat something new
There is comfort in the knowledge
That bliss is found in every chew

And we'll eat supper together
Bonding like never before
Just like char kway teow which brings us life
Stirfrying throughout Singapore

Chorus x 2

Cause food is what keeps me at home..

Now you know why I'm this size *sniggers* For the record 1)I've never eaten Boon Kee chicken rice before. 2) I've never been a fan of char kway teow. 3) OI! It's still patriotic okay? At least I think it is haha. *runs and dodges as patriotic and loyal Singaporean citizens pelt me with stale ketupats and rotting fish*

Motto of the day: EAT, drink and be merry!

...

2006-07-16T14:50:00.000+08:00

Just came across someone's blog who lambasted me for sharing the commonwealth news. Someone I thought was a friend. Someone I obviously misjudged terribly. Someone I'll probably never speak to ever again.

My god, every word was so nasty and my stomach just sank. Sank as in the way the Titanic sank after it crashed into the iceberg.

I'm SORRY all right? I'm sorry I did something I could be proud of for once in my fucking life. I'm sorry for all the people who think I'm someone who likes to gloat and preen. I'm sorry I was so happy that I wanted to share the news with the first person I saw. I'm infinitely sorry that the first person was you.

I feel like crying so badly. Because I can't think of a feeling that is worse than the sense of betrayal. Makes me wonder what I'm still doing here and why I'm putting up with this shit when I'm almost at my breaking point.

ecstatic abt commonwealth

2006-07-13T23:12:00.000+08:00

Really really ecstatic right now because of this http://www.rcsint.org/essay/?os=221&os=226&os=230&os=222&os=232&subSection=winners2006&os=223#223 . Back already? My goodness I was in a complete state of shock. The way I actually found out about it was actually quite funny. My p6 classmate came onto MSN and he was like 'congrats' I went 'er for what exactly'..'being a runnerup for the commonwealth essay' My jaw dropped and my mind went blank. 'SERIOUSLY?!?! OMFG!' was my reaction. I sound like a Sec 2 through my typing but I honestly don't care right now. I only have 2 real regrets 1) The 2nd prize was a guy from RI and 2) I thought that the concept in my essay was good but my execution was choppy and plainly speaking quite bad- who knows whether I might have gotten further if it was improved?

I shouldn't get greedy. Sure if I had won something it would have been a lot sweeter but coming in as a runnerup and being shortlisted is already a really great acknowledgement and I honestly never expected it. It truly made my day. That's really all I have to say. Besides the fact that my cheeks are aching from smiling too much.

Joke of the day : A man walks into a cafe and orders a cup of coffee. He takes one sip, spits it out and shouts at the waiter: 'Why does this coffee taste like earth?!' The waiter looks at him coolly and says : 'It was ground yesterday Sir'

Muted Longing

2006-07-10T18:30:00.000+08:00

Some people in the class really manage to piss me off. Seriously. I honestly do not give a flying fuck as to how smart you are, how eloquent you are, how 'nice' you are, how talented you are or how perfect you are. But what I do care about is that you treat the people you dislike, people who have never done anything malicious to you, with the bitchiest and coldest of attitudes. To put it simply, ****** , you are a major fucking bitch who hides behind a facade. A facade is that is chockful of intelligence, kindness and sweetness but a facade nevertheless. And one day, I hope this facade is viciously ripped off your face like a poorly made party mask. How can I say that you're a bitch? Because it takes one to know one. I know you won't see this, and even if you did, you'd probably not recognise yourself. But someday if you glance upon your image in a mirror and see in that reflection the horrid and nasty side of your character, well..try not to be too surprised. Because the person you find it easiest to lie to will always be yourself.

Sometimes I wonder how much rage can build up within a person till you lose every shred of sanity you have encapsulated in your body...

On a lighter note, Adela Chee was going through some stuff again for the benefit of the band people who'd missed their lesson, leaving me thoroughly bored. So bored-lil'-ole-me borrowed folscap (I always seem to be doing that aren't I?) from Soo Ming and hey-ho another poem. I seem to be writing a lot more this day..inspiration strikes and it's hard to ignore it I guess.

That Muted Longing

The carressing breath of autumn
leaves a trail upon my face.
Reminds me of that muted longing
I just cannot quite place.

It's in the whisper of the leaves
as they break and fall through the air.
The reds and yellows clash-like we used to
and yet you are not there.

It's in the gradual cold that seeps in
down to the very bone.
It's cruel, harsh and biting
now that I'm all alone.

It's in the gold that litter the pavements
the streets we used to walk.
The remembrance of meaningless topics
about which we used to talk.

That muted longing is back so strong..
when will it fade away?
It'd take a while cause it's reality
but I know it will someday.

Aight aight..Not one of my best I admit and a little cheesy to boot but what the heck.

The Silence

2006-07-04T21:25:00.000+08:00

Came up with a song in the library today. It's kind of funny really-cause I was actually hell-bent on studying Biology, and I did! For the first 10 minutes or so anyway. I think it's because of the video I watched yesterday on youtube. Never quite discussed by terranaomi. She is phenomenal and abso-bloody-lutely talented in songwriting and singing. Anyhow, the song just kept going through my head till I succumbed and borrowed a piece of foolscap from Abby and the results are below.

The Silence- Steph Phang

When you left and closed my door
What I heard was what I feared
more than anything else before
the 'click' followed by
the silence.

The tears ran from my eyes
for you broke through the fence
I held round everyone I've known
Now all that's left here is
the silence.

The silence's so long
Especially when I'm alone
I know that you're gone
but that does nothing to ease my pain
And what have we gained
through this standstill we've arrived at?
I believe that we just can't answer that.

No we just cant answer that~
we just can't answer that.

Before you left, you came and pleaded
"Erase me from your mind
and it'll be better all in time."
Was the silence what
you needed?

The silence's so cold
and lingers on in my soul.
I know that I will
survive this excruciating wait.
And even though my heart breaks
I'll be stronger than ever
for I'm sure, that this silence won't last forever

No it wont, no it won't...
Cause it won't last forever..

I have the whole tune/melody figured out. Hopefully I'll be able to come up with fitting chords on the piano..Damn I wish I'd followed through with the guitar. Now the only way I can sing it is acapella. Oh well..

The father figure went nuts a few days ago. Smashed my mum's phone and labtop to smithereens because she was out late working. Thankfully things are somewhat stable now even though they aren't talking to each other.. I wish...for so many things.. but then again we were all born and dealt the cards of fate. Who are we to dispute?

sweet liberation

2006-04-26T18:53:00.000+08:00

Sweet liberation! Mid years are totally over. Though there were portions when I regretted not studying harder, I think I should be able to scrape a pass for most if not all the subjects.

Today was actually Chinese and E Maths. Frankly I thought the Chinese sucked because most of the questions required a lot of thought and consideration whilst E Maths was, in a nutshell, easy. I was really expecting it to be harder..but the setter obviously decided to be merciful.

So the 18th of April was my birthday. Wasn't expecting it to be much this year due to midyears. But I had my first birthday surprise in my LIFE when my parents brought me to this french restaurant on the 16th. I thought it was just our routine family sunday dinner--- until the waiter brought out this tiny stick of cheesecake on this plate with chocolate words that spelt out : "Happy Birthday Stephaine" Stephaine ahaha. I was so tickled. If you say it right, it actually sounds quite cool.

Birthday present haul was better than last year, also unexpected. But I think Suad and Kash's present got lost in the snail mail... :( Some presents I got from people who I wasn't close to at all. Touching and shocking at the same time.

Was riding home with my mum today when I told her about the suckiness of the Chinese paper. She started ragging on how I had to read up and brush up more about my Chinese. I just said fine, right now I'm just happy that the mid years are over. THEN she starts on how it was not over cause my Os are still approaching. At that instant, I'm afraid I saw red and snapped 'let me enjoy finishing my midyears can or not?' She stopped talking. I think this sparked off an inner conflict waged between my conscience and my devil seeing as how I felt guilty and satisfied simultaneously.

Quote of the day : Mrs Hoe during our Bio paper : Synchronise your watches with the class clock people. Cause according to Murphy's Law, the battery in it will run out.

lamenting

2006-03-30T18:06:00.000+08:00

So tomorrow's Sports Day. Whoopee doo. I'm really not sure why I'm not ponning like some people I know. Seriously, why go there to sit in the hot sun and suffer in the friggin' humidity (thank you Singapore, for being situated so close to the equator) scream our lungs out for people who won't be able to hear what we are screaming, knowing full well our throats will be sore and scratchy the next day? Pessimism. My forte. And as much as I'm whining now I know I'll still be out there tomorrow doing the same thing I just typed. Screaming. At least after tomorrow we can FINALLY stop doing the bloody progressive jive and disco rock. They're fun dances but after doing it 23409892 times the fun tends to diminish.

On a lighter note, Ms Terry came to our SS class today. Not sure what for but she was scribbling in this really cute notebook :) Then Mrs Lopez was like "Who's lamenting" and Bhavna totally got sabo-ed. Heh heh heh. You know you deserved it though ^^ Was playing Marriage D'Amour again and AGAIN at the foyer haha. Then talked to Gourie whilst waiting-She plays a mean piano. And we talked about the debates & the debators from other classes. I'm just crossing both fingers and toes for 4e9 to get to debate finals. Pure Lit Class Pride and all.

I REALLY HAVE TO STOP PROCRASTINATING AND START MUGGING. The computer is a loathsome evil little cockroach (HP *winks*). The computer is the spawn of satan (hail puritans) The computer is the bane of my existence. The computer is a distraction. The computer is my companion. The computer is my friend. The computer is my lover!

Just realised that I sounded like a complete nutjob there. Not that I haven't realised I'm crazy before this.

First post

2006-03-25T19:13:00.000+08:00

I've decided to crumble under peer pressure and start a blog.
I don't hear any wails of protest-I shall proceed. Don't think a lot of people will read this anyway. I stand corrected; very few people will read this.

All I can say to that is "Hey nonny nonny". That did not make sense.

Anyway, for the sake of preserving the sanity of anyone who chances upon this 'thing', I shall blog with some form of coherency.

So I went to the thuja home for the elderly and mentally deficient today. Well first I went to school and found out that 1)I was the only goddamned person below 30 wearing sandals and 2)The visit was meant for S2s and S3s only 3)The only S4s there were me and Siying. Then the bus driver who was female (how many female bus drivers have you seen in your lifetime?) got lost-several times so we were late. Wasn't her fault really, the place was incredibly ulu. Then Siying and I got stuck on this table with three ladies with only 1 we could actually talk to in chinese. The other 2 were speaking in hokkien and I was just nodding to whatever they said. They could have said:'You fat girl; You suck; I don't like you' etc and I would have happily nodded.

Warning: Rant ahead. Skip if you'll feel bored

After the visit, got a lift from a junior's father to the mrt station. Another junior joined Siying and me in the taxi and asked me, "Are you nice?" I was like "What made you ask that?" She said, and I kid you not, "You don't look nice." I was at a loss for words. Here there was a junior I had never spoken 10 words to saying that I wasn't "nice". Was she out of her friggin mind? If I said that to my seniors, it'd be equivalent to signing my own fucking death warrant. To make matters worst, she followed me around the mrt station and was making stupid comments and TSK-ing me. I wanted to wring her neck. We were standing and a seat in front of us was vacated and I told her to sit there. She shook her head and TOLD me to sit there. I repeated myself. She stuck her tongue out, laughed and tried to push me into the seat. I was so fed up I went into another seat at the other side. 5 seconds later, she walks over and stands in front of me. My plan was actually to get off at dhoby ghaut and change to city hall but I was willing to wait longer to get to outram park and change there just to shake her off. But no, little miss smarty pants decided to follow me again. Me:"Why are you following me?" LMSP: "I have no one to follow so I follow you lor. So funny right?" *insert stupid giggle* Me: "Strangely, I'm not amused." Then I just went for another entrance and she didn't follow me anymore. Thank Heavens for small mercies. I was just about ready to cut her head off guillotine style.

End of rant

On another topic, I never want to be cooped up in a home. It's miserable in there. I would cut my children out of my will if they dumped me in one whilst I still have my health/sanity. It sounds selfish, I know, but the look in their eyes always faze me. It's so full of loneliness and bitterness.

3 visits to 3 different old folk's home yet their eyes remain the same.